Monday, 15 February 2010

Statement from the Executive Committee of the Kicking Hazel Blears in the Face Party

The Kicking Hazel Blears in the Face Party (KHBFP) was set up in 2009 in the wake of the expenses scandal at Westminster. Our aim was to kick Hazel Blears in the face from a revolutionary Marxist angle.

Last week's news that the Hazel Must Go! campaign have selected their candidate for the general election is a significant step forward for anti-Blearsists everywhere.

While this campaign omits face-kicking from its programme, the Executive Committee of the KHBFP have decided that we are willing, in the name of Left unity, to dissolve our organisation into the wider campaign.

We are concerned that ambiguities in the name Hazel Must Go! might embolden revisionist ideas. Sections of the working class might think that we just want Hazel Blears to 'go away', 'stop bothering us' and so on. Such demands are utopian under capitalism. Hazel Blears is an inevitable product of the capitalist system. A kick in Hazel Blears's face is a kick in the face of the bourgeoisie.

The KHBFP has always been wary of substitutionism. We cannot pretend that our few dozen boots can replace the action of the millions of boots of the working class acting as a class. We adopted the slogan: “If you want an image of the future, imagine a boot stamping on Hazel Blears's face, forever.” We cannot hope to achieve this with our current numbers. We would get very tired. But once the masses and their boots move into action, there is no limit to what we can kick.

In the spirit of co-operation we advance some practical ideas for the campaign to take up:

In response to the closure of Corus on Teesside, Middlesborough's football team recently wore Save Our Steel t-shirts during a match. We propose approaching Manchester United, themselves labouring under the heel of a Yanqui imperialist oppressor, to use training balls with a picture of Hazel Blears's face on them. The symbolic gesture of Hazel Blears being kicked in the face will not be lost on the wide layers who want to see it happen for real.

A speaker tour with Tony Benn (“I didn't fight in the war for Hazel Blears to be able to go around without getting kicked in the face”) and Billy Bragg (“Not many people know that the original English flag was a red St. George's cross – over Hazel Blears's face”).

A poster campaign. “Hazel Blears: the face of a rotten system.”

We expect similar announcements soon from the Why Doesn't Hazel Blears Fuck Off and Die Alliance, and the Salford Anti-Blearsist Peoples' Liberation Organisation.

Forward to victory.

Yours with solidarity and steel capped toes,



  1. fantastic but why am i not on your bogroll

  2. Sorry Everyone's Favourite, I thought you were. Fixed it now.

  3. Comrades, on behalf of the Hazel Must Go! Campaign I bid you welcome you in to our movement and hope you will join us in finding effective non-violent solutions to eradicating Ms Blears. As the anti-Blears candidate I'm only part of a whole raft of possibilities, what happens if she somehow clings on to her seat? The campaign will continue oh yes.

    Your blog is a hoot by the way! Keep up the good word, just be careful about proposing to kick powerful people in the face, especially when they have invisible personal force fields around them and high heels to strike back at you with!

  4. Thanks for the comment David. Good luck with your campaign, and if there's anything you want me to stick up on the blog, just let me know.

  5. Nice one, once my blog is sorted I'll swap links with you :)